By: Staci Stallings
As I write this, at least two dramatic things are happening in my life. First, a script of mine has been selected as a semi-finalist in the Kairos Prize contest. Second, I’m reading John Ortberg’s “If You Want to Walk on Water, You Have to Get Out of the Boat.” What does one have to do with the other?
Well, the most frequent question I’ve gotten since I found out about the semi-finalist thing is: “So what now? What’s next?” Upon considering this question, two things immediately pop into mind. What if I don’t win? What if I do?
It took me a while to figure out that the answer to both questions is the same. “I will trust God that He has a plan, and all I must do is follow it. Whatever happens, I will simply take the next step He asks me to take whatever that next step is.”
Now, I was not always like this. There was a time I spent a lot of time thinking about: “What if it doesn’t work? Ugh. Then what? Should I submit it somewhere else? Should I not? Maybe it wasn’t good enough and I should give up on that one. Or maybe it really is on the cusp and simply has to find the right person to read it.” And then, even as those thoughts were present, so were these: “What if it wins? What will I do? Will I have to go to L.A.? I don’t know if I want to do that. What if they start asking me questions that I don’t know how to answer or asking me to go places I’m not ready to go? What if I have to be in the presence of actors and directors and producers? I don’t think I can handle that! Maybe it would be better if I lost, at least that I’ve had practice at.”
In all honesty the night I first found out, there were several moments in which these types of thoughts would start through my head. Thanks to some conversations with Holy Spirit friends, I have come to understand these thoughts for what they are: waves that take my focus off of Jesus. So, when I caught myself doing that in the early moments, I consciously said, “Staci, stop it. Put your eyes on Christ. He’s all that matters.” And instantly, my awareness of the waves ceased and all that was there was Jesus, His love for me, and His assurance that whatever happens is His will and He will be with me every step of the way.
Tonight I was reading “the boat book” (the other title’s too long). In it I found this quote:
“Waiting on the Lord is the continual, daily decision to say: ‘I will trust You and I will obey You. Even though the circumstances of my life are not turning out the way I want them to, and may never turn out the way I choose, I’m betting everything on You. I have no Plan B.’”
So, that’s my answer to the question of “What happens next?” What happens is I trust Him. I obey Him. I wait when He says, “Wait.” I go when He says, “Go.” And I go for broke that He knows what He’s doing with my life whether it makes sense to me in any single moment or not.
I have no Plan B. There are no contingency plans, no alternate strategies, no back up plans. He’s it. He is the Plan, and I believe in the middle of everything that I am that there really is no need for Plan B. There is need for Him and only Him. Since He is here with me, why would I ever need a Plan B?
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