I Want To See

By:  Staci Stallings

It’s funny how you can go to church for an hour, hear everything, but remember only small snippets of things. This weekend, the Gospel was about the blind man, Bartimaeous, who I’ve studied just a little.  I remember that they were trying to shut him up as he sat by the walls of Jericho.  He was invisible as the poor and needy were at the time (still are).  The problem was, he just wouldn’t shut up.  He kept calling out, “Son of David, have pity on me!”

Jesus heard him and called him over.  When Bartimeaous heard he had been called, he threw off his cloak and ran to Jesus.

I don’t know if you’ve ever been around someone who is blind.  My grandfather was blind for the last several years of his life.  Trust me, he didn’t run anywhere.  Running is singularly dangerous when you are blind.  In fact, if you can see but wear glasses, take them off and go run in your backyard.  You’ll quickly see what I mean.  Little things like the height of a step or a small hole can do you in before you know you’ve been done.

So I think it very interesting that he threw off his cloak and ran to Jesus.  When he gets there, he doesn’t demand his sight back.  It isn’t until Jesus asks him what he wants that he says simply, “I want to see.”

I want to see.

How profound.  Not just for some blind beggar in Jericho, but for us.

I want to see is an admission that at present I do not see.  It says, “I’m blind.”  It is an admission of weakness as much as a statement of fact.  How often, do you tell God, “I want to see”? How often do you admit to Him that you can’t, that you are blind and you need His help?

The truth is, I do want to see.  I want God to help me see the things I don’t–with my eyes and with my heart.  I want Him to gently show me what I most need to see and then to help me to change it.  I am not perfect.  I am blind in many, many ways.  Although I do see some things of God, many are not clear or some are completely blank to my vision.  There is a phrase in a song I love that says, “give my vision wider view.”  I believe God is doing that for me.  How about you?

Increase, Lord, what I can see, and help me to have the grace to know what to do, how to do, when to do… whatever is necessary when I do see.  Amen.

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